Why so negative???

Are people really so much more negative lately, or am I just finally realizing it? 

I'm in a mood lately - in a "I'm fed up with people" mood.  I just don't get people.  I don't get where all the negativity and discontent comes from.  Why do people post such negative things on Facebook and Twitter?  (No, I'm not saying I haven't been guilty of it, because I have).  Talk TO the people that you're upset with, not ABOUT them.  Why be passive-aggressive with your anger?  Is it for attention, does it really make you feel better?  Nope...you need to address those issues with the people who have wronged you.  Otherwise it's just gossip, and this town thrives on drama and gossip.

Far too often as adults we still react to adverse situations in our lives with very childish behaviors hurting our friends, family and reputation along the way. Why do we do this? We know better! We teach our children not to do or say the things that we ourselves continue to say and do, allowing us to become cynical, rude, critical, unforgiving, selfish and so on. As adults we're supposed to act, instead of react, to life's ups and downs. Supposedly using the "wisdom" that we've accumulated throughout our experiences of many years. Anyone can grow older. That doesn't take any ability at all. That happens naturally. But growing up…now that's a different story. Some of us never "mellow with age." Some of us go from bad to worse, and there's nothing worse than an "immature adult."

How do we let ourselves get to this point in the first place? What makes us become so unyielding, and narrow minded, way into our advanced years? What has prevented us from learning life's lessons which should have been learned years before?  Perhaps over the course of time we have become so focused on ourselves, and our wants and needs, that if every remark isn't geared towards our happiness, we get upset. We've become accustomed to overlooking our own faults, and seeing through magnified glasses at the faults of others. We've become convinced that we are the good guys, and that our ideas and ways of thinking are right. No questions asked.

After years of viewing life from our "me, me, me" perspective, other disturbing factors occur. We lose track of damage that we've inflicted on others, and blow out of proportion unintentional slights we feel we've received. Our viewpoint becomes greatly distorted. We lose our humility and acquire a one-track line of thinking.  "They're wrong! I'm right! Come around to my way of thinking and then everything will be fine. I didn't do anything to you! You did this to me!" Isolating long time treasured friends over bits and pieces of trivial, perceived, wounds of the heart. Holding on to personal slights and grudges like gold. Validated or not, they become necessary ingredients for the emotional recipes we cook up in our heads - stewing and stewing, at hotter and hotter temperatures, until our pot boils over and all spill out, burning everyone in its path.

Why do people dislike people that they don't even know?  Why do we go on people's reputations instead of trying to get to know people before forming opinions.  Sadly, I can name ten people easily who despise the fact that I even breathe.  Even sadder is that they don't know me.  Sure, they've seen me around, I'm sure my reputation precedes me (hell, this is Meridian, even grandma's have reputations here).  But what they don't know is that I'm not the whore, the 'homewrecker' that everyone thinks I am.  Yes, I'm a guys' girl - I'd rather be at the dirt track than shopping any day of the week.  Nope, I haven't worn makeup since around 9th grade, and have no plans to start.  And no, I'm not sleeping with your husband/boyfriend/baby daddy.  I actually had a guy friend of mine tell me that his ex (who's wanting to get back with him) told him that, if they were to ever work out, I'd have to 'cease to exist in his life.'  Really?!?!?!  This girl has seen me ONCE, for maybe five minutes, and I'm that threatening to her.  I'm amused.  Why does this town thrive on drama and negativity? I've never seen anything like it in my life. I could list story after story, but then you wouldn't know whether to believe me or think I was spreading the same kind of negative seed that I'm posting about.

I can be the best friend anyone has ever had, and I've got a few close friends that can attest to that.  I'm actually one of the most caring, protective, do anything to help you people in this world, honest.

One point to my rambling post is this.  Just because you've heard a million bad things about someone, get to know that person before forming your opinions and certainly before spreading the lies and gossip that you've heard.  I've become a negative person because of this town, because of my job.  And I'm not doing it anymore.  I'm tired of being negative, I'm tired of not being me.  I just wish everyone else felt the same way.  I'm removing negative people from my life, slowly, and with kid gloves.  I'm starting to learn that, if you surround yourself with positive people who lift you up, your mood and attitude will follow suit.  Everyone has a story to tell, everyone has a past.  But, don't judge people by their pasts, they don't live there anymore...

We as adults have lost our ability to reason with the heart instead of the head. We forget along the way, friends we've had for years wouldn't be there in the first place, if they didn't like us. We've learned to concentrate more on the negative than the positive - never stopping to consider that few people wake up and plan to go about their day hurting our feelings. It's seldom on anyone's "things-to-do-today" list. Yet, we let pride get in the way of reason. Our hearts become hardened to forgiveness. We think we've earned the right to be rude because of what we've been through in life. How can we learn to once again act like the adults that we are? We can start by remembering what we were taught as children in Sunday school - "turn the other cheek, forgive others, love unconditionally, and do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Oh, and 'IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY, JUST DON'T SAY ANYTHING, AND DON'T POST IT ON FACEBOOK EITHER."  Relationships end, friendships fail, marriages end up in divorce.  That's life, it sucks but it happens.  What you don't realize is how many people read and take to heart what you post.  Many times there are children involved.  Yes, I understand the need to rally your firends around you when you're hurting.  But why not do that privately, via phone or text?  WHY does all your drama have to be posted online?  It doesn't make you look classy at all...quite the opposite actually.  Be the person that you'd want your kids/nieces/nephews/siblings to be.  Whether you realize it or not, someone somewhere uses you as their example, as their role model. Children should only be shown how to be better adults, from the best adults that we can be. Let's all try to remember the next time we feel a harsh word or an undeserved slight from someone, that we are setting examples for future generations by how we react. Let us remind ourselves to try to be the kind of seniors that we'd want our children to be: healthy, happy, peaceful adults - playful, but not childish - innocent, but not immature - helpful, but not hurtful, for the next generation truly starts with us.


 What kind of example will you set today?