Blah

So, if you've been reading, you all know that I had a falling out (for lack of a better term) with my "best friend" six months ago, and it still bothers me.  I can't just let it go for some reason, and this is my place to vent.  I don't talk about it with others, I simply blog about it. 

I can't let it go because it still hurts.  I don't trust people really, I don't have that many friends - I have close acquaintances. She was only one of 2 people that truly know every single thing there is to know about me, good and bad.  I miss the all day texting, I miss the weird conversations we had.  I miss the way we both knew what the other was thinking with just a look.  I miss what we used to be.  And the hardest part to grasp is that it'll never be like it used to be.  We no longer trust each other.  We've had attempts to try and "talk" through text and email, but it ends up blowing up.  There were too many harmful things said to ever go back and undo, and simply put, I just can't trust her as bad as I want to.

I miss her being in my life.  I miss her kids.   I read her blog, though I probably shouldn't.  She thinks I read it to stalk her, but I really read it just to know what's going on in her world because I used to know everything.  Maybe I should stop...maybe that's pathetic.  I dunno...

And it's really hard right now because I'm going through so much these days, stuff that I would only talk to her about.  And I've wanted to pick up the phone several times to call, but I can't.  So I just deal with it by myself until I let myself trust another friend to get that close to me...

Done with my pity party for today. :)

Mardi Gras

Mardi Gras 2011 began on Friday, February 18, and me and the hubby went to Mobile with 6 friends to celebrate.  We had so much fun!  Thanks to some connections, I got us rooms at the Candlewood Suites downtown on Royal Street. 

Robbie and I parked the truck Friday afternoon and didn't move it til Sunday.  I fell in love with downtown Mobile!  So many neat shops and restaurants.  The weather was perfect, and we just walked everywhere.  There were plenty of police presence, so Robbie never felt like it wasn't safe (for those of you who know me, you know I'm naive and never think twice about things like that).  We found the best little locally-owned pizza place downtown Friday night (while the rest of the group left to eat Mexican food) and liked it so much that we took the whole gang there for lunch Saturday.  One of the couples usually goes down every year, and our hotel was about 2 blocks from where they normally stand to watch the parades.  Worked out perfect!

Sitting around, holding our spot and waiting on the next parade to start.

 Couldn't let this one pass without getting a pic!

With my stash for the afternoon.  I'm not one who likes all the beads and stuff that gets thrown, but I ended up with it anyway.  I love the bands and the floats.  Just love looking at all the time and effort put into those floats.  One MAJOR difference about Mardi Gras in Mobile was how clean and family friendly it was.  As soon as the last float cleared, there were about 200 workers walking and cleaning the streets, street-sweepers, garbage trucks, etc.  The streets were clean 10 minutes after the parades were over.

 Me and the hubby in one of the parks downtown.  I really wish Meridian's downtown area could develop like this.  I was in heaven!

Last night there, dinner at Wintzell's.  The best boiled shrimp I've had in a long time.

We've all decided to make this an annual trip.  Can't wait for next year!

My thought for the day

“I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do many years ago was to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable. But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, 'I'm sorry,' and then you say to yourself, 'I'm sorry.' If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self. I think that young men and women are so caught by the way they see themselves. Now mind you. When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that's rough. But you can overcome that. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don't have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach.”




Maya Angelou

Valentine's Day

Here's a little history lesson on Valentine's Day for ya. 
http://www.theholidayspot.com/valentine/history_of_valentine.htm

"I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon." ~Author Unknown



I might be the only female on the planet who thinks Valentine's Day is overrated. Ok, a romantic at heart I'm not.  But it is, seriously.  I mean, why do you need one day to be forced to show people you love 'em?  I think you should show those you care about how much you love them every day.  I try to never miss an opportunity to let special people in my life know that I care. 

But I refuse to buy into the Hallmark holiday that is Valentine's Day. I don't celebrate it.  Robbie and I will buy cards ('cause he gets his feeling hurt if I don't let him do something), but that's it.  No overpriced Valentine's flowers, I don't eat chocolate, and I'm not a hearts kinda girl. ;-)  And forget going out to dinner on this day - you'll freakin' starve before you ever get seated!    To me, Valentine's Day almost makes you resent that special someone because you're pressured to get the absolute perfect gift.  It's no longer about the thought behind the gift.  And women compare gifts, no matter what they say, and judge their men accordingly.  Who needs the pressure?

But see, I'm lucky enough to have a man that celebrates Valentine's Day every day.  I'm always finding notes everywhere- on the bathroom mirror, on my purse, on my windshield.  If he's working in town, I always get breakfast delivered to me (like just now).  I get flowers "just because."  It's the little things like these that make me not need Valentine's Day. 

So see, I don't hate love.  I just hate the social pressure put on one day out of the year for you to prove to the world that you love someone.  It just doesn't make any sense at all to me...I do hope that all y'all that love this day have your best one ever!

My baby sissy

“Sister is probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once the sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest relationship.” - Margaret Mead

I am blessed to have 2 younger sisters.  We fought like crazy growing up, but now I talk to them at least every other day. 

My youngest sister fixed my blog problems for me, so I promised her a blog post of how fabulous she is, so here you go Jenferder!

You are the bestest youngest sissy ever!  Thank you for being smarter than me in figuring out how to fix my blog.  I hate that you live 3 hours away now :(  I hate that I haven't seen you since before Thanksgiving (though I'll be there in 2 weeks, yay!)  You're so much like me in so many ways. You're strong, assertive, protective of those you love.  I do want you to know that I'm so proud of who you've become.  You're a wonderful sister, wife, and mother. :)  (Though bless Joe's heart 'cause no one else would put up with you like he does!)  AND, Thank you for blessing my life with Zeke and Karlee.

I'm glad we've grown closer over the years, and I miss you & love you bunches!

21 Life Lessons

So, I came across this today in an old email, and I decided to share.  (Don't you feel special?!?!?!)  And then, I decided to add my own comments and opinions just 'cause I felt like it. :)


ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.  I usually always do this, whether I want to or not.  It seems to be in my nature.  I've noticed lately that I tend to give more to some people than I tend to receive, and I reckon that's ok too.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. I know a TON of people that should read this one.  This town is so full of people who like to create gossip when there isn't really a story to be told.  As for the second part, I have learned this one over time.  I'm not materialistic, but I do like "happies."  Robbie is the frugal one, and we just paid my car off.  I have friends asking, "So, when are you gonna get a new car?  Yours is a few years old now."  Yes, but it's paid for!  There's nothing at all wrong with it, so I think I'll keep it.  :)  And

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it. When did people start throwing these 3 words around so much, or have I just recently began to notice this?  I tell my husband, my family, and my friends I love them a lot.  But I mean it.  If you're my friend, and I've told you I love you, we've been friends for a long time, I trust you, and I honestly love you.  I see people on Facebook telling people "Love you!" when they were JUST gossiping about them last week. 

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye. If you're truly sorry, text and email doesn't cut it.  You have to say it in person so the person can see it in your face.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling. Big lesson learned lately.  You can't take back anything that's said, and words said in anger are the worst.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives. Lord knows I've got plenty that I don't want people judging me by!

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When so me one asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?" Or just say "Nonya business!"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. Though sometimes the disputes are so large that the friendships can't be salvaged, no matter how bad you want it to me.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone. I believe this is a must for anyone, I know it definitely is for me.  I love people, but sometimes I just don't wanna be around anyone else.  My favorite alone time is my running time.