I came across this quote last night, and it really made me stop and think. At the end of 2010, I lost the person who I trusted as my best friend. Part of it was my fault really. I kept something from her to try to spare her feelings, and that led to her believing she couldn't trust me. There was MUCH more to the whole situation on both sides, but that's the one part of the whole deal that I truly regret. There were a lot of things said over the course of a month or so that we'll never be able to take back. But...I miss her. I miss our conversations. I miss knowing she was always there for me to go to. I miss her kids. But, do I miss her, or do I miss the friend I thought she was? Is she still that same person I knew and all this clouded my judgement? I guess I'll never know...
I've been dealing with the whole concept of friendship. I always like to think I'm a good friend. If I consider you a friend I would walk to the moon and back on hot coals for you, seriously. I seem to come across as a hard ass to a lot of people, but I'm a huge pushover when it comes to my friends. But, I can't shake the question of whether it would have been best for me to tell her which would have led her to a fight with someone she loves or whether I should have just kept it to myself like I did.
At 33 years old, do I really need to have a label of a "best friend?" My guard is way up these days. I have a friend who considers me her best friend, but I'm not at the same point in our friendship as she is. I have a few true friends whom I know I can call on at any time...I've heard people say that your spouse should be your best friend. While I certainly love Robbie, I simply don't see things that way.
Maybe it's all just me and everyone else is normal. But, I like me.
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